DVNLP Kongress Hamburg,


15:30 – 17:00

Liebe praktisch umsetzen - die 14 Grundformen der Liebe:

Tutorial 1: What to do when my partner says: "No!"

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Excerpts of the Content:

1 Why a tutorial?

An insight we might admit to from our personal as well as our professional world might be that:

Partnerships do not collapse because of a lack of love
but rather from a lack of knowledge.
If we knew more we would make them work better.

Does that seem too easy? Perhaps, but it is easy to agree that we all want the same things, i.e. happiness and contentment - especially in a partnership. But how can we achieve them?  ... more

2 Everyday challenges

Example 1:
Max wants to go to Majorca again with his mates. Maria doesn’t understand him. Why does he want to go to Majorca without her and why Majorca anyway? He’s been going there once a year for three years and she has kept quiet until now – although her displeasure had been plain to see. Until now she had been content to be “in a bad mood” for a while. However, she does not see the need to put up with it any more. She says: “Listen Max, I don’t think it is nice for you to fly to Majorca and leave me here alone. I don’t want you to go on holiday without me and especially not with your mates and especially not to Majorca.” .... more

Example 2:
Julia is a typical Latino. She is very hospitable and always manages to create a warm, inviting atmosphere. She usually greets her male friends with a hug and a kiss. She sees this as quite normal. One should not read anything into it – she believes.
She has been married to Adrian for five years. It is his second marriage. One day Adrian sees one of her friends kissing her on the lips – with her obvious permission. He frowns and decides to talk to her about it. He does not think it is good. He thinks it is a touch too intimate. ... more

3 Some basic thoughts

Love and relationship – what does it mean?

  • Are you familiar with these or similar scenes?
  • Is one allowed to put borders on the behavior of one’s partner?
  • Is my partner allowed to put borders on my behavior?
  • Is it allowed to lay down rules to the partner?
  • Would I allow my partner to lay down rules for me?
  • Is one allowed to express one’s expectations to one’s partner or does this create unnecessary pressure?
  • Is it not better that my partner fulfills my expectations voluntarily rather than in response to my demands?